A very interesting experience occurs as I arrive at our Emerson company tour, and it enforces the ideas that truly learning a second language involve (1. immediacy and practicality, and (2. frequent repetition; you’ll see what I mean here shortly. So our MBA tour crew, we’re kickin’ it old school in the industrial town of Suzhou (70km from Shanghai). We’re waiting for our tour to commence…people are bummed when they find out the company is not Ericcson—the telecommunications company—but Emerson (the manufacturer of…air conditioner compressors?), it’s close to 9:00am, and so far this morning, I’ve had a bottle of water, a bottle of Minute Maid juice (no pulp, just real chunks of fruit inside—problematic if you have textural problems), and a Nescafe can of espresso. So ‘natch, Mother Nature is calling. Knowing how much the Chinese are flattered that you are making attempts at one of the hardest languages tonally and grammatically I know it’s time to bust out the Chinese and ask the young lady at the front desk where the little boys’ room is: “Chin wen (excuse me/question) Tzai Nahr (Where is) Tze Tzwoh (Bathroom)?” So here’s how it went down. Follow the schematic below for a visual representation. I start at (1), approach the Front Desk. I ask her. My tones (Chinese has 4 separate tones) are getting better, as when I ask her the question, she doesn’t stare blankly back at me. I think the fact that my legs are crossed and I’m grabbing my crotch is a clue enough to her that when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. She motions to the electro-locked door (2). As I try to door, it doesn’t open. Well, Emerson isn’t electronic locks, it’s air compressors for air conditions. So I’ll forgive them. The door finally gives, and I’m staring at a plant and a couch. I look to my left, and there’s a hallway. I ask a lady there, “Chin wen, tzai nahr tze twoi?” She gestures for me to go down the hallway (3). As it’s a looong hallway (not to scale in Figure 1.1), and I’m pretty lost, plus the coffee, water, and iced coffee isn’t helping the situation. I get to Cubicle area #1 (4) and ask again, “Chin wen, tzai nahr tze twoi?” I ask like two more times, because the last thing on my mind is the tones of the Chinese language. By now, both cubicle areas are looking at me. Another gentleman directs me a across a hallway to a pair of doors (5). This is getting out of control. Really? I step through the double doors, and I’m now on the other side. (6) You know what’s on the other side of those doors? The floor to operations! Yes, that’s where they make all of the air compressors. Forklifts, Asian guys in hardhats and blue jumpsuits, looks like a scene from the Bond Film “You Only Live Twice.” Where are the sharks? With the lasers? At this point, everyone is looking at me: “Who’s this foreign clown without a hardhat, no badge, and why is he grabbing his crotch?” I can’t believe it. On the other side of the door, there’s a guy, I ask him quickly, “Chin wen, tzai nahr tze twoi?” He motions for me down a hallway, then I follow that and, once more, I ask another guy, “Chin wen, tzai nahr tze twoi?” He motions to the hallway to my left (7), where I find, finally, the tze twoi. As I enter, people are glaring at me, obviously wondering where my hardhat, jumpsuit and security clearance is. At this point, I didn’t care, I was just glad that I knew the key word for bathroom in Chinese. That, and being able to sprint in a hi-tech operations facility.
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